Caffeine

16 May 2006

Sooo, I drink tea in the morning instead of coffee because coffee has quite an effect on my system by the end of the day. It usually involves being more scared than usual when I'm alone in my apartment and flashbacks from all those scary movies I've been forced to sit through. I had some cocacola last night with my popcorn while we started to watch a movie called the New World, about John Smith and Pocahontas. I couldn't tell if it was going to be any good, but I continued to watch it as Brad quickly fell asleep- which he always does, even though he's the one who insists on renting movies and staying up late. So, annoyed that I was watching the movie by myself, I pulled him up and we went to bed. And since coke usually does not have the same effect on me as coffee does, I wasn't too worried about falling asleep. A little after 2am I was awake and opened the window for some fresh air. It's been nice and cool at night lately and I know soon enough we'll be in the middle of a hot muggy summer. So I layed there for awhile thinking about rugby, which is what I usually tend to do when I'm trying to fall asleep because it is like the one thing that will keep me awake all night. Rolled over a couple times to see if I could wake Brad up by moving around. Then a scene from the damn exorcism of emily rose movie popped into my head. Awhile ago after watching that movie and learning that 3 am is apparently the Devil's hour, I would think of it every time I woke up in the middle of the night and be scared to look at the clock. I haven't thought about it in awhile, but there it was again, tempting me to look at the clock to see if I was about to become possessed. So I was like, whatever, popped my head up and saw the 3:00 glaring back at me like haha, gotcha! I mean wtf. It more pissed me off than anything else. As soon as I think I'm going to start being a grown up and not get scared from movies(and everything else) so bad, some shit like this happens to reel me back in. Then I started hearing the faintest cry from outside in the neighborhood and the more I listened it sounded like the baby next door had woken up and was wailing. Then there was the whistle of the train going through downtown Raleigh. And here I was racking my brain of scary movies to remember if a baby crying or a train whistle blowing was related to becoming possessed. The bed wasn't moving and I couldn't smell anything burning, so I figured I was in the clear, but of course I still couldn't fall asleep. So I did what any other six year old trapped in a 24 yr old's body would do, I woke up the person sleeping beside me and asked if he'd come to the bathroom with me. I'm lucky to have someone who will stand next to the bathroom with the door open and lights on at 3:30 am without asking any questions. I think sometimes we both wonder if I'll ever grow up- sitting there on the toilet feeling ridiculous, but comforted, I don't know if I'll ever want to. So does my biological clock just like to fuck with me? I remember in high school there were a series of nights when I woke up to see the clock reading 12:34. That wasn't as spooky, but more like a bet I had going with my subconscious to see how many days in a row I could do it. There was a guy who used to work at my Dad's bakery who would wake up at 2am every morning to come in and bake the bread. He'd do it without any sort of alarm and was always on time. Strange stuff... I'd be interested to know how it all works...