Mrs. President

Dear Mrs. Hillary Clinton,

I heard you speak on NPR this morning about the intense primary that grabs my attention every day. You said that this primary is all about electing someone who can beat John McCain, referring to yourself as the best candidate to do so.

I think that exemplifies how my feelings for you have changed throughout this campaign. For you, it's all about winning.

Before this campaign, I could not wait for you to run for president. When I watched you debate for the first time during your race for the NY senate, I thought to myself, this is the most articulate woman... politician... person I have ever heard. I have agreed with you when it comes to the issues. I have always thought you would make an excellent president. I have felt that I would be indescribably proud as an American to have you as my leader.

But I differ from you on something that is at the center of your campaign. It is NOT all about winning. And I am not an idealist. I still wish we could reverse time and persuade all the Ralph Nader supporters to have united with the rest of the Democrats in the 2000 election. I have turned to a candidate that is not necessarily perfect to me - no politician is. But he stands behind unity. He brings people together. And above all, he does not stoop to the level of the current administration in order to win. He does not use fear as a way to build support.

To me, you are beginning to look like the pigs in George Orwell's Animal Farm. If you are elected as the Democratic nominee and you do beat John McCain, will we really have won anything? Or will we have resided to not beating them and choosing to join them?

I will vote for you if you are elected the Democratic nominee. I do believe in lesser evils. But I will vote for you without excitement, pleasure or even a smile on my face. And maybe that's what counts for you - the ballot, not the person behind it.

I do hope that you can find the integrity that you lost somewhere along this campaign road and clean things up. I am certain that if you are elected as our nominee that there will not be as many pity votes as the one I would give you as it would take to win the presidency.

sight

25 Oct 2007

A few years ago, when I was 21 or 22, I decided to pretend to be blind for a little while. Sometimes it's interesting to do something with your eyes closed- like something very simple that doesn't seem meaningful. Like getting some juice out of the fridge. Or checking the mail. It makes it seem very important and new and interesting. I must have been doing this that one evening and wanted to see how far I could go with it. I cheated a little bit because I had the help of my boyfriend at the time. But even so it was a pretty neat experience. I went from sitting on the couch to taking a shower to getting dressed and out the door, the whole time with my eyes closed. I can't really describe how it felt. I felt a little closer to home... like maybe looking inward instead of out. It was also somewhat peaceful. Didn't have to take in all the stuff that usually comes streaming in through my eyes. It definitely slowed things down. I took my time and had to pay attention to each thing I did. Anyway... with all this being on my own stuff that I'm trying to do, I was thinking about trying to do something similar in my new place by myself. I think it would be a lot more difficult and I'm kind of afraid to try it. I also think I'd feel very silly.

the workweek should end on Thursday

14 Jul 2006

1. My roommate once: let Tut, the cat, outside to see if he liked the outdoors and lost him forever... way to go Scott. 2. Never in my life have I: broken a bone or been hurt (physically). 3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile: Charles; he's at least the first that comes to mind. 4. High School was: fun at first, but could have been condensed into a couple years. 5. When I'm nervous: I either don't talk at all or don't say what I really mean to. 6. The last time I cried was: when I hit my head really hard on the ground after tackling a girl on top of me. 7. If I were to get married right now my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: Juliana, Gretchen, Jackie, Caroline and Sarah. 9. My hair: is curly. 10. When I was 10: I was skin and bones and at E.K. Powe Elementary in Durham and fought with my brothers, but loved playing football with them on my team at the park and could never imagine being any older or any different. 11. Last Christmas I: made my brother the prettiest dog bed ever. 12. When I turn my head left: I look at what the people are doing outside on the street. 13. I should be: doing work that is more meaningful to me. 14. When I look down I see: my lap. 15. The craziest recent event was: watching Control Room and feeling betrayed by the media. 16. If I were a character on TV I'd be: I have nooo idea, any suggestions? 17. By this time next year: I hope to be getting certified as a Montessori school teacher or doing lateral entry into a public school. 18. Current Relationship Status: in love. 19. I have a hard time understanding: how I'm perceived by other people. 20. One time at a family gathering: my Pop dressed up like Santa Claus and I was young enough to believe it. 21. You know I "like" you if: I give you a hard time. 22. If I won an award, the first people I'd thank is: my parents. 23. Take my advice: Rather than complain about things that bother you, do what you can to make them better yourself. 24. My ideal breakfast is: cooked on a skillet over a morning campfire by my babe. 25. If you saw me in my childhood neighborhood: you'd touch my curls and tell me to put some shoes on. 26. Where do you plan to visit anytime soon: upstate New York. 27. If you spend the night at my house/apt: you'd eat a good meal and play dress up (if I got you drunk enough). 28. I'd stop my wedding if: my big brother was wary about it. 29. The world could do without: money. 30. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than date: a guy who didn't treat me with the same level of respect that I treated him. 31. Most recent thing you've bought yourself: a big burrito for lunch yesterday. 32. Most recent thing someone else bought for you: a big bag of cherries, my favorite J 33. My favorite blonde is: Brian, except he's not really blonde anymore; so maybe it would have to be Ms. Krupa. 34. My favorite brunette is: Francis. 35. And by the way: I don't know if blondes and brunettes only refer to females J 36. The last time I was high: was when Brad and I tried to go see Willy Wonka at the IMAX theater, but couldn't get in because it was sold out. 37. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: horses, because then I could ride one. 38. I shouldn't have: been petrified of the words that my friend Kyle said to me years ago. 39. Once, at a bar: I was dressed up as a bumble bee and kissed a boy with gorilla feet. 40. Last night I: apparently took off someone's undies in my sleep. 41. There's this person I know who: I haven't seen in years, but has been on my mind a lot lately. 42: I dont know: how much longer I can wait to have children. 43. A better name for me would be: I dont know... Lena? maybe it would be a better first name than a middle one. 44. I fear: growing up and dealing with death, esp. that of my parents.

Caffeine

16 May 2006

Sooo, I drink tea in the morning instead of coffee because coffee has quite an effect on my system by the end of the day. It usually involves being more scared than usual when I'm alone in my apartment and flashbacks from all those scary movies I've been forced to sit through. I had some cocacola last night with my popcorn while we started to watch a movie called the New World, about John Smith and Pocahontas. I couldn't tell if it was going to be any good, but I continued to watch it as Brad quickly fell asleep- which he always does, even though he's the one who insists on renting movies and staying up late. So, annoyed that I was watching the movie by myself, I pulled him up and we went to bed. And since coke usually does not have the same effect on me as coffee does, I wasn't too worried about falling asleep. A little after 2am I was awake and opened the window for some fresh air. It's been nice and cool at night lately and I know soon enough we'll be in the middle of a hot muggy summer. So I layed there for awhile thinking about rugby, which is what I usually tend to do when I'm trying to fall asleep because it is like the one thing that will keep me awake all night. Rolled over a couple times to see if I could wake Brad up by moving around. Then a scene from the damn exorcism of emily rose movie popped into my head. Awhile ago after watching that movie and learning that 3 am is apparently the Devil's hour, I would think of it every time I woke up in the middle of the night and be scared to look at the clock. I haven't thought about it in awhile, but there it was again, tempting me to look at the clock to see if I was about to become possessed. So I was like, whatever, popped my head up and saw the 3:00 glaring back at me like haha, gotcha! I mean wtf. It more pissed me off than anything else. As soon as I think I'm going to start being a grown up and not get scared from movies(and everything else) so bad, some shit like this happens to reel me back in. Then I started hearing the faintest cry from outside in the neighborhood and the more I listened it sounded like the baby next door had woken up and was wailing. Then there was the whistle of the train going through downtown Raleigh. And here I was racking my brain of scary movies to remember if a baby crying or a train whistle blowing was related to becoming possessed. The bed wasn't moving and I couldn't smell anything burning, so I figured I was in the clear, but of course I still couldn't fall asleep. So I did what any other six year old trapped in a 24 yr old's body would do, I woke up the person sleeping beside me and asked if he'd come to the bathroom with me. I'm lucky to have someone who will stand next to the bathroom with the door open and lights on at 3:30 am without asking any questions. I think sometimes we both wonder if I'll ever grow up- sitting there on the toilet feeling ridiculous, but comforted, I don't know if I'll ever want to. So does my biological clock just like to fuck with me? I remember in high school there were a series of nights when I woke up to see the clock reading 12:34. That wasn't as spooky, but more like a bet I had going with my subconscious to see how many days in a row I could do it. There was a guy who used to work at my Dad's bakery who would wake up at 2am every morning to come in and bake the bread. He'd do it without any sort of alarm and was always on time. Strange stuff... I'd be interested to know how it all works...

For work...

Am trying to find some prominent bloggers in two very different subjects...

1 - Cosmetology: hair, skin, nails, beauty trends

2 - Building Trades: electrical, alarm , HVAC

So I guess I just start searching from here...